All I Want for Christmas
by LuxahHeart
Summary: Set in the PT timeline. It's Ray's first Christmas without Kai and Kyra, and even with Max trying to get him in the holiday spirit he's not having it. Yaoi, M-Preg.


**A lil late for Christmas, but this sadly didn't come to me until afterwards. Misty had sent me a rough draft of her own one-shot set in the PT timeline and it inspired me to do my own. Just a bit of drabble, but was still fun to come back to this family. Hope you all enjoy, and happy holidays and a happy new year!**

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"Kain, don't put that in your mouth." Ray heard Max scorn his one-year-old son from where he sat on the couch in their little two-bedroom apartment. Kain paused from putting the shiny ornament into his opened mouth and dashed away as Max went to get it from him.

Next he reeled on his daughter, from having thrown of the ornaments across the room where it shattered. Max groaned, getting up from his spot on the floor to clean up the mess before one of them got cut up by the broken glass. Ray watched from his spot on the couch, having already tried in telling Max that setting the tree up with the kids awake was a bad idea. Max hadn't listened though, determined to wrangle the kids around while trying to set up their fake Christmas tree in the living room and it was a battle the American was slowly losing.

Between having to fight off three one-year-olds who had all learned to walk around the same time, something both fathers were starting to dread since the kids were constantly on the move now, and trying to get the tree decorated Max was about to call it quits and let the little devils just have the tree.

Max had wanted to do a traditional western Christmas with his kids and had gone out and got the tree a week before Christmas, which was now only a day away, but Ray just didn't have the same kind of feelings. It had been almost a full year since he and Kai had split, each taking one of their children with them, and it only took five months before Ray lost all contact with him and Kyra. He didn't know what had happened or why Kai had done this to him, but it had left him a broken man who was hardly there for his remaining child now, letting Max do most of the brunt work when it came to his own son.

He had gotten better, after coming to a point where he had contemplated taking his own life and being saved by Tyson and Max; on his twentieth birthday no less. He had started therapy and his drinking had all about stopped, but he didn't have it within him to get into the holiday spirit. This was their sons real first Christmas and Kai wasn't there to celebrate it with them like he should, and this was his first Christmas without Kyra and it was weighing heavily on him. Max had tried but it hadn't worked and if anything he was more pissed off about that than their children trying to undo everything he had gotten up on the tree.

"Are you just going to sit there?" Max asked, blue eyes narrowed as he swept up the broken glass.

"I told you not to try and set this up with them awake." Ray said from his spot on the couch, looking bored.

"It'd be easier if you helped me." Max snapped back, "You know what, just take them to the park or something. They need to run off some energy." He sighed as he threw away the glass in the trash can that sat in the kitchen.

"If that's what you want." Ray huffed as he pushed himself off the couch, clapping his hands to get the kids attention. "Who wants to go to the park?" He called out and all sets of eyes beamed, broad smiles coming to their little faces. "Alright, lets get our jackets and boots on." He said with fake enthusiasm.

The little bodies all rushed after him, wobbling behind each other towards the closet by the door where he got them each bundled up into their heavy winter coats. Once he was able to get them in their boots he ushered them out the door like a band of ducklings following after him, shutting the door behind him so Max could work in peace.

At the stairs he bent down, taking the twins into his arms. "Okay buddy, climb on." He instructed Kain, who wobbled up behind him and threw his arms around his father's shoulders as his little fingers clamped down on his jacket and kept his legs around him as tight as he could so he wouldn't fall.

Ray stood up carefully, not wanting his son to fall off as he descended the stairs. Once they got to the ground floor, coming from the second floor, he sat the twins down and let Kain crawl off his back. Luckily their apartment complex had a small park that sat in the open courtyard not far from their apartment, once he had their hands in his, and Matt holding Stella's hand, he led them to the park and let them run off from him.

There were a few other parents out there with their kids, some older and some the same age as his kids. What stung him the most were the couples that were there with their kids, either helping them climb or slide, knowing full well that should have been what their son had. He couldn't even remember the last time he had pushed Kyra on a swing or had watched Kai chase her around the jungle gym, but he knew that he missed it.

He stood back to the side, his eyes on the kids as he lit up a cigarette. It wasn't something he did often but it had replaced his drinking, and between the two he'd rather be smoking than drinking himself into a stupor every day. Max wasn't happy about his new habit either, but even he had to admit it was better than Ray being a useless drunk all the time.

The kids had gone off doing their own things; Matt trying to climb a slide, Stella having found a friend about her age to follow around, and Kain was busy chasing his own foot prints in the snow. He let them play for about an hour before the cold got to them all and called for them to come back so they could go home, and like before they filed up behind him like little ducklings and followed him back towards their apartment. This time he let them climb the stairs, following behind them closely until they reached the top and stepped into the apartment.

"Did you get it set up?" Ray called from the entryway of the apartment, toeing his shoes off by the door and then helping the kids out of their boots.

"Almost done, you couldn't stay out there a bit longer?" Max answered back.

"If you want them to catch the flu, then sure." Ray chuckled back as he followed the kids into the apartment once their shoes had been taken off and put up on the shoe rack by the door, hanging their coats in the closet before joining them all in the living room.

"It looks good though." He said as he eyed the fake Christmas tree Max had finished setting up, having put the ornaments out of the kids reach. "You forgot the star though."

"I was wondering if you wanted to do it." Max said as he dug the silver metal star out of the box by his feet, holding it out to Ray.

Ray shook his head, Kai was the one that always put the star on the tree. "I'll just make dinner." He said and started for the kitchen.

Max huffed, at least he had tried again, he put the star on the top and stood back to admire his handywork until the kids ran into the tree, hugging it from each side and making it rock back.

"Nononono." Max gasped, prying the little ones away from it quickly. "You all are going to give me a headache." He sighed as his two children tried to wiggle themselves free from his grasp, Kain running up and latching onto his leg.

"I'm gonna give them a bath." He said over his shoulder, trying to make his way to the bathroom with Kain still clutched to his pant leg and Stella and Matt trying to get out of his hold.

"Good luck." Ray called back laughing at him as he stood over the stove as the water started to boil.

The living room got quiet until Max's shouts and yells started up from the bathroom down the hall, causing Ray to snicker at his friends attempts to get their children bathed knowing full well that it was easier to bathe them one at a time.

"Stella get back here young lady!" He heard Max call and next thing he knew she had waddled into the kitchen in her diaper, running up and clinging to his leg.

"Oh no, I'm not saving you." Ray said as he pried her off his leg and pulled her up into his arms, taking her back to his father. "Should have shut the door." Ray said as he handed her back over to Max.

"I was fixing to before she ran off on me." Max sighed as he took her back, setting her down and getting her undressed to toss into the tub with the other two who were already in a splashing match against each other.

"Call me if you need help." Ray said as he left, shutting the door behind him as Max got a face full of bathwater thrown at him.

Once the kids had been cleaned up, dried, and ready for bed Ray had dinner set out on the little table, surrounded by two chairs for them and three highchairs for the kids, sitting between them to keep them from throwing their food all over the place.

"So, Tyson wants us to come over tomorrow." Max said, causing Ray to look up at him.

"Then what was the point of setting up the tree?" He asked, trying to wipe the food off his sons mouth.

"Cus it's sat there a week bare." Max shrugged back at him, "It would have gotten done sooner if you had helped when I first set it up."

Ray rolled his eyes at him, having heard the same spiel since he brought the damn thing home. "I thought we were just going to stay here and do Christmas."

Max shrugged at him again, "Our place is to small to have everyone over."

"Who is everyone?" Ray asked, his brow arching.

"Tyson and Hilary, Hiro and his family, and Kenny and Emily." Max listed off and Ray was already shaking his head at him.

"I'd rather not."

Max frowned at him, "How long are you going to keep avoiding everyone?"

"I'm not avoiding everyone, I saw Tyson two months ago." Ray defended.

Max narrowed his eyes at him, "And since then you haven't seen him, I'm sure he'd be happy to see you. And see that you are doing better."

"I don't want to talk about this right now Max." Ray sighed as he looked away from him.

"It's Christmas eve, can't you be a little bit happy?" Max asked.

Ray narrowed his eyes at him harshly, his face hard as he stared him down. "I'm not doing this with you right now, so back off." He warned in a stern tone.

Max huffed as he sat back into his chair, the table going quiet until they finished their dinner and got their kids put to bed. Since they lived in a two-bedroom apartment they gave the kids the master bedroom and took the smaller one together, having their own single beds on opposite sides of the room. There was a slight tension in the air between them and they didn't say goodnight to one another as they settled down under their covers.

Max was the first to fall asleep, Ray found it too hard to do and he was left staring at the wall his bed was pushed up against. Come morning it would be Christmas and to him it was just another day.

When he woke up, after falling asleep at about three in the morning, Max had tried to get him to go with him to Tyson's only to get shot down several times before Max took the kids with him, letting Ray wallow in his self-pity.

He had wandered around the apartment for a while before he went outside to have a smoke, he didn't mind the quiet but it was soon getting to him and he sat down on the couch in front of the TV. Nothing was worth watching and he ended up falling asleep, after not having much the night before he hadn't realized how tired he really was.

His golden eyes fluttered open a few minutes later and he jerked upwards on the couch that wasn't Max's, wondering when and how he had gotten to the Hiwatari manor. At first it scared him, he had come here often after Kai had left, but he couldn't remember having left the apartment.

He looked around a little, the living room had been decked out in Christmas decorations, ones that he knew he had put up the moment December first had hit. The tree was in it's normal spot by the fire place that was lit, warming the room, and under the tree were a stack of wrapped presents varying in size.

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up."

Ray about jumped out of skin at the voice, turning around quickly on the couch and all he could manage to do was stare back into crimson eyes. Kai's face fell a little, as he was leant up against the doorway of the living room.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly, before stepping into the room with Ray.

He could feel his mouth starting to go dry the closer Kai got to him and found himself unconsciously backing away from him on the couch until his back hit the armrest, Kai sitting down beside him still looking at him with concern.

"You okay?"

Ray didn't know whether to answer or not, he didn't know if he was or wasn't. This was just a dream, wasn't it?

"You stayed up all night wrapping presents, didn't think you'd ever go to sleep. When I came downstairs you were passed out on the couch, so I just left you here." Kai explained, his crimson eyes still holding Ray's golden ones that were starting to fill up with tears.

"I was waiting to wake the kids up with you, but I didn't want to wake you up too early." Kai continued to speak, Ray just staring at him. "Tala and Bryan will be over later with Dimitri, so that way it's just us."

"Kai." Ray's voice came out shaky and Kai turned to look at him, slate brow arched in question.

"Kitten?"

Ray almost lost it, biting back the tears he threw his arms around Kai's neck and started to sob. Kai put his arms around him, a bit taken back by the sudden meltdown and held him until he calmed down and pulled back.

"You sure you're okay?" Kai asked, brushing back his bangs from his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ray said as he wiped the tears from his face. "I've just missed you."

Kai frowned a little, "I know I've been working a lot, I'm sorry I've not been home enough for you and the kids."

Ray shook his head at him, another sob caught in the back of his throat. "It's fine, you're here now." He choked out.

"Did you want to wait and wake the kids, maybe get a shower and change?" Kai asked and Ray shook his head at him.

"No, lets get the kids up. I want to see them opening their presents."

Kai smiled at him and stood up, pulling Ray with him and led him to the stairs towards their children's rooms. Ray about lost it again as Kai opened Kyra's door, revealing her to be asleep on her bed with her long raven hair all over the place from sleep. He stepped in quietly and sat on the edge of the bed, gently nudging her awake.

"Merry Christmas sweetheart." He said, fighting back the tears again as she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Papa!" She shouted, jumping up and throwing her arms around his neck and started to purr.

Ray's arms tightened around her little back, holding her closer to him as he purred back for her. Kai had stayed in the doorway, arms crossed as he leaned against it and watched them.

"You ready to open presents?" Ray asked as he pulled her away from him and her crimson eyes beamed with excitement.

"Da!" She shouted, bouncing off the bed and running to her father where he scooped her up into his arms.

"Morning Malyshka."

"Presents!" Was her excited reply.

"We have to get your brother." Kai reminded with a laugh and she pouted at him, crimson eyes narrowing.

"I'll get him, you two head downstairs." Ray said as he came to join them in the doorway.

Kai nodded, taking Kyra back down the hall to the stairs as Ray went to the nursery where Kain was asleep in his crib. Gently lifting him out of it, waking him up, and changing his diaper before he went downstairs to join the rest of his family. Kyra was sat on Kai's legs on the floor, bouncing with excitement and eyes wide at all the presents under the tree.

"Here, I'll hold him so you can pass these around." Kai said, holding his arms out for his son.

Ray smiled at him, handing him over before going to the tree and scanned through the presents, finding one for each of them and set them out. Kyra moved off Kai's lap, going to sit between her fathers as Ray pushed her present over towards her, only making her more excited.

"Okay, on the count of three." Ray said, picking up the ends of the tissue paper that stuck out of the Christmas bag, Kyra mimicking his moves as she grabbed the corners of her box. Kai helping their son out with his present as he juggled the two of them on his lap.

"One… Two… Three!" Ray yelled and the simultaneous sound of paper ripping filled the living room.

Kyra tore into her present, wrapping paper flying around everywhere, and her crimson eyes got bigger and brighter as she smiled at her present; a brand new toy care for her dolls.

"Thank you!" She sang out, clutching the box to her chest.

Kai and Ray both chuckled at her, "You're welcome." They said, having forgotten about their own presents in order to watch her reaction.

"What'd you get buddy?" Ray asked as he turned to Kain who was clutching onto another stuffed toy animal, already gnawing on it's head.

"I think he likes it." Kai commented, drool running down his hand.

Ray smiled at him, the sight melting his heart, as he tore into his gift that had been stuffed inside a bag with some tissue paper thrown over it; clearly a gift from Kai. He reached in and pulled out a large cookbook, very practical but very much Ray.

"I didn't know if you already had that one, if you do we can exchange it." Kai said as he nodded to the book Ray was already thumbing through.

"No, I don't think I have this one. Thank you. Now open your present." Ray said as he held his hands out for his son, the two of them switching so Kai could open his.

Kai's eyes widened and a smirk cracked at the bottle of cologne in his hand, "Of course." He laughed.

"What else would I get you? It's tradition." Ray said with a fanged smile.

"It's perfect." Kai said as he met his eyes fondly, setting the bottle down beside him before he leant over and pecked Ray on the cheek.

Ray froze for a second before he cleared his throat, "Go pick out another present Kyra." He said and watched her happily scoot herself over to the tree, picking out the biggest wrapped box she could find.

Once again they all opened their presents in turns until there was nothing left under the tree, the torn and ripped up wrapping paper strewn about the living room floor. Ray got up, handing Kain back to Kai, to get a trash bag as Kai was helping Kyra open some of her toys, Kain sitting gnawing on the same stuffed animal on his lap.

When Ray came back into the living room he froze in the doorway, his heart clenching as he watched his little family sitting on the floor surrounded by their presents and the mess they had made. He felt tears at the corners of his eyes again, wiping them away quickly before he made a mess of things. This was perfect and it hurt, but he didn't know why.

Kyra looked up from her car toy, having stuffed as many dolls in it as she could. "Papa, come play with me." She said to him then frowned, "What's wrong papa?" She asked in her sweet little voice, causing Kai to turn around and look at him now with a questioning look.

"Nothing baby, I'm fine." Ray said as he came in and sat down with them, deciding to pick up the trash later and play with his daughter while he had the chance.

Time seemed to fly by them as they played in the living room and next thing he knew their house was filled with the others, Christmas dinner in the oven and soft music playing from the living room. The kids had been shuffled into the living room and left to their own devices, Hilary and Emily staying in the living room and talking amongst each other as a six-month old Thomas was wrapped up in his mothers arms. Tala was in the kitchen with Ray helping him, while Tyson Max and Kenny were sat talking with each other. Kai and Bryan had gone off to his office to discuss business while they had the chance.

Before they knew it the dinner was done and everyone had a plate stuffed to the brim of the feast Tala and Ray had prepared, the kids having to be wrangled and put on the floor since there weren't enough highchairs for all of them. Again it felt like Ray had blinked and the party was over and he was carrying his sleeping three-year-old daughter up to her room, Kai carrying their son to the nursery to put him down for bed.

"I love you baby girl." Ray said as he kissed his daughters forehead, covering her up with her quilt before stepping out of the room, taking one last look before he turned the light off and cast the room in darkness, her nightlight giving off a soft glow.

A gentle hand came down on his shoulder and Ray reached up and held Kai's hand that rested over him, falling back into his chest as they looked back into their daughters room.

"I've missed this…" Ray breathed out, tears back in his eyes.

"I know." Kai said, resting his chin on the top of Ray's hair.

"She's so beautiful…" Ray sighed, letting Kai's other arm come around his waist, holding him closer.

"Should get going." Kai said in a whisper, and Ray nodded. "Your son needs you."

"He needs you too…" Ray choked out, not bothering to stop the tears as they fell from his eyes. "I need you…"

"I know." Kai breathed again, the warmth Ray had felt himself wrapped in was starting to disappear on him and his body began to tremble.

"Don't leave me again…"

The darkness of Kyra's room started to seep out through the door towards him until it overtook everything around him, Kai's warmth gone from his back as he was left standing there alone. He couldn't stand any longer and fell to his knees, unable to stop the tears as they poured out of his eyes.

Ray jolted awake, tear stains on his cheeks and he wiped them away as he sat up and looked around. He was back in his and Max's apartment and it was still empty, the tree standing there across from him with it's decorations and lights on, the star on top of it where Max had put it the day before. With the dream still fresh in his mind he pushed himself away from the couch and went to the bathroom to wash his face, when he was done he pulled his coat out of the closest and put his shoes on, the door closing behind him.

It took him a minute to collect himself as he sat in his car outside of Tyson's house, Max Hiro and Kenny's cars already parked along the side of the road, having parked behind Max's car.

Before he lost the will to go in he forced himself out of his car and made the short walk up to the front door, gently knocking and waiting until Hilary opened it for him. She smiled brightly at him, her son clung to her side like a koala bear, and she pulled Ray into a hug with her free arm.

"Merry Christmas Ray." She said as she stepped back, letting him go and into the house.

"Merry Christmas Hilary." He said back, and then the sound of tiny sock clad feet padded up to him against the wooden floor, Kain's little arms outstretched for him as he ran up to him.

Ray bent down, taking his son up in his arms and held him close burying his face into Kain's messy two-toned hair.

"C'mon, everyone's in the dining room." Hilary said, leading the way as Ray toed off his shoes and followed her inside.

As they entered the dining room where everyone was sitting around the dining table, Max catching Ray's eyes and smiled at him in a friendly gesture. Ray smiled back as he sat down at the table, Kain still in his arms as he took the empty spot next to Max.


End file.
